I think your perceptions of reality when you were in the midst of the chaos may have been skewed. How could it not??? Alcoholism distorts reality, it's all drama and chaos that is not real. So, no I don't think you are making Alcohol too big in your own head. Your brain is clearing from the craziness, the distorted reality according to the A, the fog. Reality as it is is now beginning to be recognized. It feels better doesn't it?