Originally Posted by givingup
So if my child has the measles I would make sure she was seen by a doctor. I would have her prescriptions filled, measure out the medication and see that she takes it on schedule. I would make her chicken soup and read her bedtime stories. But with an A we are told to focus on ourselves and let them suffer the consequences of their illness in order to get well. So how does that make sense?
Morning Glory is right, that is a good thread... here is part of it from Pernell
Recovery Begins in Act II
If recovery from alcoholsm is to be initiated, it must begin with the persons in the second act who must learn the dynamics of the illness, and to act in anentirely different fashion. New roles cannot be learned without turning to others who understand the play, and putting into practice the insight and understanding gained from this source. If act two is rewritten and replayed, there is every reason to believe that the alcoholic will recover. He is locked in a phase of resistance to treatment, and the people in act two hold the key to his recovery. If the alcoholic is rescued from every crisis , if the employer submits to repeated victimization, and if the wife remains in the role of Provocatrix, there is not one chance in ten that the alcoholic will recover. He is virtually helpless and cannot break the lock, but he may recover if the other actors in the drama learn how to break the dependency relationship. The alcoholic cannot cannot keep the merry-go-round going unless the others ride it with him and help keep it going. The characters in the second act keep asking the alcoholic why he does not stop drinking, yet these are the very persons whose actions assist the alcoholic in solving his basic human problems by drinking in this fashion. It is completely untrue to state that an alcoholic cannot be helped until he wants help. It is true to state that an alcoholic will not recover as long as other people remove the painful consequences of the drinking episodes.
The Victim and the Enabler must seek information, insight and understanding of they plan to change their roles. It is imperative that the Provocatrix enter into some kind of continuing program of supportive counseling or therapy, preferably on a group basis, if she is to make a basic change in her life.
In understanding the role of the three supporting actors in the drama, we must remember that they did not learn to play these roles overnight. These persons play what they conceive to be the normal roles that are expected of them in life. They actually believe that they are helping the alcoholic and do not understand that they are helping perpetuate the illness.
The Enabler thinks he must not let the alcoholic suffer the consequences of his drinking when it can so easily be prevented by a simple rescue operation. It is like saving a drowning man. It simply must be done. But this rescue mission relieves the anxiety, guilt and fears of the Enabler and conveys to the alcoholic what the rescuer really thinks: "You cannot make it without my help." It reveals a lack of faith in the alcoholic's ability to take care of himself and is a form of judgement and condemnation.
This goes for alcohol, drug addiction or sexaholism...
thanks Morning Glory for thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...&threadid=2168