Not surprised at the information, but am surprised that something approaching zero tolerance is not more widespread. Men are not animals. That some took it upon themselves to allow abusive behaviour in law and that others took advantage of theselaws does not mean that anyone gets a pass from abusing another. Until 1991, it was lawful for a man to rape his wife in England and Wales (not sure about Scotland or the US). Do you think that every man took advantage of that law? Some men still do so, even thought it is now against the law and those women still have no effective legal redress. But not every man. Lack of respect for someone's physical boundaries is something that we should always be surprised about.
What I am not surprised about is that so many of the horrible situations I read on this board do seem to stem from patriarchal attitudes, rather than alcohol. I don't know about anyone else, but my recovery has taken me down a feminist track as I have moved on from the immediate healing after I left my ex. I find it really hard to find the right words to post on here now but I do still look in for refreshers for myself and to see how folks are doing and applaud you all for keeping the board fresh and alive with your contributions.
Thanks for posting this.