Welcome to the SR family!
Thanks for taking the time to introduce yourself and share some of your story with us! Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
I too was a SAHM (12 years) of my 14 years married to an A.
The day he received my petition for divorce, he realized I was serious about not returning to the same old, same old. He decided to get sober. He asked me for help.
I was his band-aid for 14+ years. I was the glue that held all the pieces together. I had to tell him that I could not help him with his recovery. (I am a recovering alcoholic) I would fall into my unhealthy pattern of fixing everything and he would likely fall into his unhealthy pattern of avoiding responsibility.
I did let him use my computer and print out a local AA schedule. I told him he needed a recovering A with more time and experience to call him out on his BS when it arrives.
He did join AA and got a sponsor.
Our divorce was finalized the same weekend I moved myself and children to our new community, 2 hours away.
That was two years ago.
Did he stay in AA and stay sober? No.
Was he honest about the drinking again? No.
Today, he is trying sobriety again.
Today, I am still keeping my side of the street clean and letting him work on his.