Originally Posted by LaPinturaBella

The paranoia, the thinking that EVERYTHING is about them...that's the craziest part for me to get a handle on. However, I think (and these stories all helped me see it) that they are the young, insecure, self-conscious little kid who is desperately trying to fit in. But they try so hard, it comes off all wrong and they get totally defensive and end up being on the offensive 99% of the time. Which becomes obnoxious and hurtful and the dance continues.

Until we stop! When I realized my ExABF was truly behaving and speaking to me like a 15 year old brat, I just stopped talking to him. It was pointless and it kept me from feeling crazy. It made me sad, but I really SAW that he is trapped in a mind set and an addiction that thoroughly prevent him from being a MAN who is able to participate equally in an adult relationship. THAT is what helped me to finally begin to detach.