Originally Posted by
GettingBy 
Sometimes the bait is just so darn juicy you can help but bite on!!!
Just out of curiosity - if you two are separated/estranged - why do you even have a joint credit card? The first thing I did when I decided I needed to separate from my AH... get rid of EVERYTHING joint. Joint credit cards, joint checking, hell - I even sent the car I loved and adored down the road... because it had two names on the title. I'm working on getting rid of the house too!! It's all about limiting (the best I can!) my AH's "access" to me.
A joint card gives him a way into your life and business - and it sounds like it's not bringing you peace. Why not get rid of it and get your own individual card - both of you?
In my case when I moved out I hadn't started recovery yet. All I knew was I just needed to get away. Now that I am in recovery I realize that I can never go back to living with my AW again.
But I also realize that at this point in my recovery I'm not ready to take that next step. I know I'm going to take it but I am going to do it on my time.
One thing with her I'm not worried she'll pull anything funny with the money because I got an offer from my one DD to come live with them. I told AW if she tried anything funny with the money that I would quit working and go do that. If we divide up the pensions I'm getting we would each have about 900 a month to live on. Me at my daughters, no problem, her in the apartment, big problem.
We will just have to wait and see how this drama plays out but at least now I have a say in my role.