Two Wolves,
I am sorry for what you and your sons are going through. I dont know what is going on with your husband, but I do know that you did not cause it, cannot control it and cannot cure it. You can however, get out of the way, and focus on you and your sons. getting counselling and alanon, or alateen would probably be very helpful for them. they are going to need a lot of help and good fortune not to repeat their fathers and grandfathers actions.