I'll chime in and join those saying single parenting being 1000 time less stressful then living with and parenting with an A.
Financilly I have more security now even though I'm not getting child support right now (xah not working). I moved to an area I could afford, which was hard to do but had to be done. I have huge daycare expeneses but that won't be a forever cost.
I am currently feeling very overwhelmed with the logistics. I'm definitely on overload. Something will have to give soon but I have some things going on that have increased my load lately, which is just life. It happens.
Not that it matters but just to give a reference point - May is the end of the fiscal year for me at work so it is very busy and stressful. My dad is in the hospital and will be moving to a nursing home and I am the one to take care of all those logistics etc. The thing is I was on similar overload two years ago (only it was MIL), and I was still married at that point. It was way worse and played a big hand in bringing me to my bottom and getting out of the marriage later that year. Not only was it way worse for me mentally and emotionally it was worse for the kids. I was not handling it as well (so was not handling them as well), I was consumed with frustration, anger; and resentment at xah, and because of our chaotic lifestyle my boys did not have the resources (parental or financial) to be involved in anything - so they sat in that miserable home all day.
Today I feel overloaded but I have the emotional/mental/physical space and capacity to deal with it much better, so while not perfect, I am a better mother. The wheels are not falling off my bus like they were a year ago. My children have activities and friends so there world is bigger then just the walls of their house.
It is hard but still better. I've been avoiding this thread because I've felt so overloaded and didn't want to be a negative nelly when you need support. After thinking it through and typing it out I'm so grateful that I did because right now I am feeling so much better. I have much to be thankful for and after mapping it out like this I can really see how I am reaching my goals of having a better life for me and my kids. I feel much more centered then I did last night. Thank you!