Hey Startoveragain!
How funny that today is officially my 10 days of no contact with XABF too. I really do understand just how you are feeling because I feel addicted to him too. Those sudden urges just to talk to them and see how everything is going..yikes! Lord knows that before these 10 days I was still trying to make contact for so long after we broke up, trying to search for "answers" and some closure. But all I ended up getting ever was "f*** yous" and hang ups and "i hate yous".
I think the thing that has finally settled in my brain (and maybe this will help you as well), is that I FINALLY realized that there was no point in contacting the XABF because:
a.) he's delusional
b.) he's never gonna see where I'm coming from anyway
c.) he'll probably just start yelling again
d.) i don't want to deal with the anxiety i constantly associated with waiting for him to reply (part of my addiction was OBSESSING every second about when he would reply to my phone calls/texts/emails...but i realized if im not in contact at all then there's zero reply anxiety!)
Keep chugging along though, it'll be 10 days and then 20 days and then 30 days....and then finally somehow we'll get to the point of not even noticing.