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Old 05-31-2011, 01:44 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Chino
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Originally Posted by CheekyAngel View Post
She lives on her own (to no fault but her own) and it frightnes me. I read someone elses thread which touched my heart becoz thats how i see this situation ending up - someone finding her dead, alone.
Most of my family members and many friends live alone. Most of my loved ones have died alone, too, even when they lived with someone. The only time it's frightened me is when active substance abuse has been part of the picture.

It took a while, but after I started thinking about my addicted loved ones dying alone, I realized I was projecting my fears on them. I assumed it was a torturous event, especially on an emotional level, because they've cried the loudest. If I cried that much I'd be in a horrible way, reaching out to others to help me find a way out of the misery... but wait, they don't do that. That's where my perspective and theirs parts ways. I started driving myself crazy when I forgot that.

A question I eventually asked myself was, why was I so determined to feel others pain, take it on? Why was I so determined to be the answer instead of having one? The short answer is ego. I wanted to be everything to others but I can't. I can't even be everything to myself. I need a Higher Power.
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