Hi Sugah!
An EX that is alcoholic, when we broke up, told me he was planning to drink the rest of his life.
And that is exactly what he is doing.
I also moved to another city to work with him. Then short after we broke up he started going out with someone else, someone without a family here either and someone who drinks the same or more. (When I met him I also drank socially, although being with him I drank more and more often than I would normally do)
Alcoholics don't have relationships. They take hostages. At least I have seen one and have seen the partners and neither this woman nor I, in that stage, had steady support or some kind of home/refuge or emotional foundation. That is why we were attractive to the man IMHO.
Gladly I changed.. well, in the process, but not I see his reality more clearly. And I see mine.
Investing your time with dear friends and family, therapy, Alanon is the best thing you can do. Once my therapist and my mom told me the same things about my partner elections and I was humble enough to realize they are right, it gave me strength to move forward. For me "moving forward" was being single again. For you it may mean keeping your peace regardless of whatever, or being honest and deciding if walking on eggshells is how you want to live your life.
I do not think I could ever relax again with an alcoholic, he would have to have years of years of steady recovery for me to be even a friend. Well, in fact I was too hurt by the alcoholic in my life and by my bad decisions, so honestly besides the wonderful recovered people in SR, I do not want to have anything to do with alcoholics in real life... it is just, too painful and there's no way to know if today will be the day Hell comes back again. Just my personal choices at this point.
Everything is a choice...