She is still at a stage where they will think it is funny how ****** up they were... EVen if you try to explain how bad it is, they will probably laugh and say, Haha, look at how I couldnt talk, look at the fact I had no pants.
I really feel for you, here.
I think you should put some house rules in place. If she doesnt come home within ceratin hours, if she is intoxicated, she will have to save her money, work longer hours, get an apartment.
You have other kids to consider, here.
In our house, growing up, I was the youngest of 6. My dad died when I was 13, and my brothers and sisters were running wild.
It was perfectly common and normal for them to roll into the house at all hours, completely Sh*tfaced.
My mother made no rules, there were no consequences.
I struggled with alcohol and drugs for years, and I really thought it was just WHAT you did.
And I thought that because I saw my siblings doing it, and they were OK, and they did not get into trouble, and nobody died when they drove around drunk.
Well, my cousin did not die, but he killed three of his best friends and paralyzed himself at 17.
It did not stop any of us.
My two sisters are both in recovery from alcohol, and my brother still drinks too much.
My mom has been to rehab 2x, and she is trying to moderate herself, now, trying "social" drinking.
I never get in her face, but my MOther should have taken control of us kids. SHe was obviously drinking herself, but, I LEARNED that it was OK to get obliterated, not only OK< but that it was a rite of passage, and that some people never pass through, just get stuck there.
She needs some serious consequences NOW>
You and your husband must be able to come up with a plan. Put into rehab, even if she doesnt want it, it may start to work on her a little.
And she will at least come into contact with the concept of the dangerous nature of alcoholism.
But, I saw my brothers and sisters this way that you describe, passed out, throwing up, half naked, brought home by police...
I just thought its what we do, becuase nobody showed me any different.