Happy Birthday WTBH! I'm sorry it started off on such a icky way, but you have the rest of your day in front of you. His illness is really screaming and it is quite ugly. Seems as if it has taken over any possibility to be reasonable and considerate. On my last birthday I ended up in tears with my AH screaming at me telling me things like I have ruined the last 10 years of his birthdays (on his birthday he usually acts like a kid would on theirs, king for the day kind of attitude). In a conversation we had recently he told me I still was upset about my birthday. Well duh nothing has changed and nothing has happened to help me get over it. I was so sad and depressed, but it was a piece in helping me find my way to alanon and SR.
I know you are making huge steps in getting away from him and I am sure this episode will only strengthen your mind set on what needs to happen. Sucks I know. We deserve better.