Yes, I definitely still feel like this. I was talking to a friend about this-it seems like, normal rel'ships are much harder to let go of because tere's more closure. It's 2 adults who are facing reality letting each other go because of an incompatibility or loss of love, or something that is within THEIR control.
In this case, you have an extraneous factor-alcoholism-that comes wrapped in a big mess of implications. There's usually lying, projection, denial, abuse, and it gets very complicated. We can never really have closure when we leave. Often, we still LOVE the person but hate the disease and it becomes hard to accept that the 2 are intertwined.
I've been reading about love addiction.I think it fits me, personally.
Love Addicts Anonymous
I hope you find that link helpful. For me the only thing that gets me through is al-anon and working the steps with my sponsor. My ex is still unhealthy, and it tears me up. Maybe I still harbor some illusion that I could have done something/could still do something. I have to keep going back tot he 1st step that I am powerless.