Hi and Welcome. I am fairly new around here too but the people here are fantastic and understand. Others will be along shortly I'm sure to welcome you as well and point out stuff on this site.
It is so hard when we understand it is their choice, nothing we can do to change the fact that they will or will not drink...and then to see them go into situations like your AH is today. While we can say to ourselves detach, it really is hard to do just that. When our marriages are hanging in the balance sitting back and watching the outcome seems nearly impossible. From your writing it sounds like you have been to alanon, if not I would really recommend you try it out. Meanwhile stay strong and take a day at time.