Well, yesterday my divorce was final...Trying to deal with it, the best I can.
Had plans today, to do some fun things...
Woke up this morning, had a really weird gut feeling, called my daughter at 8am.
Asked her what was wrong. She said nothing. I called her on it. She
finally breaks down and tells me the truth...
As some of you know, 2 years ago, she was in a domestic abuse relationship.
Her husband now, boyfriend then was dealing prescription drugs and drinking whiskey.
The first time she told me he was doing that, I went CRAZY!!!!
I turned into a freaking grizzly bear....
I yanked her out of the house, called the cops, the story included
loaded guns, drug dealers, protection orders, lawyers, you name it, it happen. I moved her home, then one week later...I was the bad mom
who took her away from a great man...She told everyone my mom
made that story up, he never hit me....He never bite me or he never
put loaded guns to my head...HOLY ****!!!
So then I deal with my alcoholic husband for 2 years..
Get him out of my life, daughter comes back into my life.
The past couple of weeks I have been able to enjoy her & the new
granddaughter back into my life.
THANK GOD!!!!!! For Alanon & SR for all that I have learned...
And the THANK GOD part is not just words, it is deep in my heart!
Today, she tells me, he is back on the drugs, he has never quit beating
her, he drinks whiskey everynight. He is going thru $600 every 2 weeks
on drugs and not helping her with rent/food. Last night he punched her in the
stomach, bruised her arm.
SUPER WOMAN ALANON MOM SAID (ME):
1- Well only you know what to do
2- File a protection order
3 -You did not cause it, you cant control it, and you cant cure it
and that rule
there applies to me also with you!!!
4 - The door is open, but there is one requirement/rule that you
will have to do before you move here with me.
(A) You will get professional help for domestic abuse and you will go to Alanon...
****She felt bad because she hit him back?? omg,....((I feel sick!!))
Why would a woman would feel bad for hitting back?
I (BOBBY J) will not control, cause or cure this either!!!! WILL NOT!!!
Once again, I can not believe this is happening in my freaking life...
I am asking for help, I have never dealt with physical abuse in my life.
What direction do I point her to?
I know where the Alanon classes are..
What about domestic abuse?
Do I google them online?
Do they have classes like alanon?
I cant fix it for her, but would like to give her the information, for when
she is ready to change...
I would have never dreamed that I would be here today, asking these questions...
She told me, the abuse hasnt stopped in 2 years, she just hid it, thinking
it would go away.
I laughed, and said yes, I thought my husbands drinking
would do the same.
You have alcohol plus drugs, I cant imagine..
I told her, she does have to leave, for the safety of the baby.
I dont want them starting a tugging war with the baby and her dying
over someone high on drugs.
I explained to her, how sick their minds
are, but it was up to HER and HER only, on what she wants to do...
I told her the door is open, she is welcome to stay here.
She should be here in about 1 hour, I will check back later, for any advise that you can share....
GOOD GOD..Im trying to work on me....I am taking deep breaths
and holding on as strong as I can...Because I really could drive down
there and kick the living **** out of him!!!
Alanon Reminder: He is sick...
The old me
but I would rather him be dead)
Am I doing the right thing? What am I suppose to do???