Tuffgirl-I'm the same way as well. Can't put my finger on it but I've not been in a funk-more a funky mood.
No paitence, no tolerance, snappy, irritable, a friend put it down to menopause...could be, with a different take on it - "men" o "pause", in other words, a pause from men....in particular, my EXABF. It's been 2 months, and for the first little while, I was busy-my mom was visiting, I had to clean the house, do the yard, I was keeping busy and then started school.
After my mom left, it was just me and the dog and I guess it all hit me - hadn't had a chance to process the breakup and deal with my feelings about all what had happened.
I began to think that the chaos was gone from my life and once that happened, I would magically move on,free to be me, to enjoy this new phase of my life but then I realized that I was an addict as well, addicted to the relationship, to the chaos, the man and I was going through my own withdrawal symptoms.
As much as I accept his non-recovery, the fact that he is still drinking, I have to factor in that in spite of all of it, I still love him and miss him. My mind goes back and forth like a pendulum about it. I just could not put my finger on what was going on with me and it was at an Al-Anon meeting a couple of weeks ago where the topic was "Grief" - talk about a timely topic and timely that I return after missing a couple of weeks.
It all came out at that meeting and I think I put my finger on why I was feeling the way I was - I was grieving over the loss of the relationship, the what if, the what could have been's and after stuffing it down for so long, it all came out in a rush. It was like I as at my first meeting all over again where I just could not stop crying. That really helped me and was a small step in the process. At least I could understand what I was going through and begin to deal with it.
While I am somewhat better, some days are definitely better than others. Things still trigger me and it was hearing the words of a dear friend who lost her husband a year ago (non-alcohol related) who told be that some days, getting up by herself triggers her - she lost her husband (non-alcoholic) last year and the pain is still there in her eyes. She and I have become fast friends-we are in school together, we laugh, we cry, both of trying to heal from our respective pain.
I know these feelings, this funky mood will pass. Guess I just wanted a quick fix and what I ended up was finding that I had feelings and emotions buried under all of the othe rstuff.....
Hugs coming your way, TuffGirl......