"make myself to go a meeting yesterday, and I am glad that I did"
Keep going back, even if it is by forcing yourself. Go to more meetings if you have time. The way out of this hole is to climb out of it. Read some alanon books, go for a great hike, see a movie. I think it is perfectly okay to feel numb and be numb but you can't stay numb. Find things that help, even if it is only temporary.