(((SHellcrusher))) I'm just catching up on your situation and want to give you a hug. I'm sorry about all this crap.
PLEASE be gentle with yourself and release all those negative judgements if you can. Remember that FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS. Just because you FEEL weak doesn't mean you ARE weak. What it means in reality is that you are dealing with something that is extremely difficult!!! I think you are doing the very best thing of all by just maintaining your appointments with your therapist. She will help you to come to the best conclusions for YOU and in the proper timeline!
Most importantly you have more information now!
Check the facts against your emotional reactions. When you release the emotion and judgements and just look at the facts, it will help you to calm down and focus on
your goals and heart's desires (not those of your AW, MIL or parents!).
You are being so smart to post here and get this stuff out on the table. Keep doing it.
You will be fine....better than fine....these things take time. Each step is an awakening.