Tuffgirl

And I can't quite pinpoint why, but I have shut down emotionally. Even my therapist told me to basically not come back until I was ready to let go of this place I am in. He said it nicely, of course. And he's right...its like I have dug myself a hole, curled up in it, and refuse to come out. I did make myself to go a meeting yesterday, and I am glad that I did, but force is the operative word. I was so pissed by the time I got there...it took a solid 15 minutes to re-focus and be able to listen. And I can't describe exactly what I was so angry about.

I am irritable and snappy and intolerant...the smallest of things set me spinning. I am isolating...probably best anyway right now so I don't take anyone else's head off in the process. Certainly staying away from the RAH right now.

Its been a few weeks of this. I miss me, the person who was looking forward to rebuilding her life and enjoying her summer without the stress and constant chaos of the RAH's recovery and our so-called marriage looming over me. I was looking forward to a lot of things, and now I am just numb. Just as I am on the brink of taking my life back, I've hit a wall.

Thoughts? Suggestions? I feel like I need shock therapy or something - anything to rev me back up, so to speak. What is wrong with me? Is this normal?