It's always so sad to hear of another person dying as a result of this disease....and so young. It is so very sad. It is this fear that often keeps us paralyzed, depressed or caught up in a cycle of enabling. We don't ever want to face that result with our own children. It is our worst fear.
I realize how fear driven my life has been for so many years. Accepting that I am powerless over the addict helps to relieve that fear. I know that my son is very deep in his addiction. He has the tools to seek relief from his addiction but he chooses not to use them. I have no control over that. I am powerless. He knows where to get help. He knows how to get help. He knows he has support and a place to live (sober living house not with me) if he chooses to get clean and sober. I have to accept that the life he is living is preferable to him than the thought of doing the work he needs to do to get clean and sober. I am powerless. Nothing I can do or say will change his mind.
I can take that word...powerless...and feel helpless and weak or I can embrace it and allow it to set me free. I choose to do the latter. There is a tremendous amout of relief when I am able to embrace my powerlessness over not only my AS but everyone in my life. I am able to stay in a better place in my brain. If I am powerless over them, then I don't have to carry the burden of the result. I am free to live my life.....and allow them to live theirs. Powerlessness is empowering.
You, your dear daughter and the family of your daughter's friends will be in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke