Mine was a moment where my heart stopped caring. I had gone to him the month before and begged and pleaded with him to be honest about his relapse. That I knew he was using (didn't know what at that point), and told him if he would just come clean I wouldn't divorce him (this was after several previous relapses. The final time he'd come to me I had told him next time I am out). Anyhow, our whole family is sitting there watching Dancing With the Stars. There's a dance on there about addiction and part of it is the addict relapsing - getting pulled back in. It was incredibly moving. He's sitting a bit in front of me, and crying. I kept staring at him...waiting for him to acknowledge he was using. He didn't. He got up and went to bed, didn't say anything to any of us.
That night I knew. I knew I couldn't love him any more. My soul needed a partner who is honest and one who would at least try and be sober. About 4 months later was the actual dramatic exit, but my real bottom was that night.