Welcome back NightandDay! Here is page 144 for May 23rd from Hope for Today:
(please excuse any typos as I am typing this on my lunch break lol)
After a recent Al-Anon meeting, two people commented that my voice was so soft that they couldn't hear what I was saying. I felt quietly stunned that they would care enough to ever mention this.
For days I wondered what God was trying to tell me. Thoughts of my alcoholic upbringing bubbles to the surface. It seemed as though my parents and I always misunderstood each other. Either they couldn't understand what I was trying to say, or they did understand but diddn't like what I was saying. I learned to keep my mouth closed or to keep my voice quiet. That's how I protected myself. I eventually convinced myself that I had nothing worthwhile to say.
Al-Anon is gentle. I could have remained silent for a long time in meetings. No one ever forced me to speak or called on my like a teacher to a student. If not for the comments of those two people, it would have been easy for me to continue soaking in the sharings, never giving anything back.
Another aspect of Al-Anon's gentleness is that the option to share is always there. I began to see those two people as bearers of an invitation to let God speak through me. To do that I needed to believe that what I had to say was worth sharing. Often I had to go ahead and speak, even though I doubted the value of my words. Gradually other members told me they apprecuated, even identified with my thoughts and feelings. My willingness to develope new behavior helped me with my voice, as well as my self esteem, became "louder." Thank you, Al-Anon, for those two special people who challenged me to grow.
Thought for the Day:
Speaking too little can be as self-defeating as speaking too much.
"Other people keep telling me I'm a worthwhile person. Maybe it's time I started to believe them"