Originally Posted by
nicam 
He's convinced everyone he knows that I am crazy and toxic for him. Sad, because I've given SO much and NONE of it has been recognized.
We're used and abused, lied to, manipulated, conned, etc., constantly by these addicts and as if that wasn't traumatic enough we have to shoulder all of the blame and fault so they can continue drinking and avoiding their own issues.
I have been in the same position myself. It took me months to really get it to sink in that what other people think of me is none of my business. If your ex wants to spend his energy telling everyone he knows you're toxic and crazy, that's his business. Actually, "everyone he knows" probably is a large group of addicts he hangs with. They'll go along with what one of their fellow addicts says, no matter what.
You don't have to shoulder all the blame any longer. Please find a good therapist who can help you. Have you given Al-Anon a try? Lots of good people in those meetings who know where you're coming from and can offer you the support you need.
Your exABF will continue to avoid his issues, but they are
his issues. Now is the time for you to focus on your own issues.
Thank God neither of you were injured in the accident. Please keep posting to let everyone here know how you're doing.