Nicam,
First off I'm glad to hear that you are okay!
You are saying that you feel like you are "the crazy one that spun us off the road" but just like you said you are starting to internalize the constant abuse and that is not healthy for you. You cannot blame yourself for being upset and reaching a breaking point like that when he was just pushing you over and over again. I know how that feels and I know that sheer anger and hatred spewing from someone you have done SO much for has a way of just taking you to the next level when you least expect it.
I really hope though, like it was said before, that this may be your rock bottom. It is time to move on from this jerk and worry about yourself because you need and owe yourself more than this. Especially if his words are starting to have an extra sting it really is time to focus on YOU. Whether that means picking up a hobby or deciding to talk to a therapist to sort this all out or al-anon or SR; whatever works best to help you.