I am not sure I've hit my bottom and that's probably why I continue to feel distressed by the words AH throws my way.
I really really relate to the poster who spoke of 'you'd think that was my bottom... but it wasnt...' I am taking steps to ending my marriage but it is with a heavy heart and I am not 100% committed to doing so.
Moments that ought to have been my bottom:
When AH got drunk and embarrassed himself and me and our 7 month old daughter at a family gathering and promised to get help for his drinking and didn't and I was too afraid of his reaction to say anything.
Each of the times he's allowed his family members to verbally assault me in OUR home and says nothing.
When my AH disappeared right after D3 was born and came back drunk
When AH ruined D5's 4th and 5th bdays by getting so drunk that I am pretty sure there are kids D5 is friends with whose parents won't let them come over here
When AH disappeared over MLK weekend and I thought he was dead (and felt relief) and then promised to go to inpatient rehab and assaulted me on the day he was to leave, got arrested etc...
There's more, but I am doing myself no good reminding myself of it all. There are many bottoms and I am inching along (great way to put it stolen from earlier poster!) making changes...