Originally Posted by
Vandawglier 
I'm having more problems with my older daughter than my AS.
Sounds a tad bit like you are having problems accepting that you have no control over your adult children. May I welcome you to the reality show, called life as it is, not as we expected it.
He (19 years old) has been through an intensive outpatient program (finished last week), goes to 5 to 8 NA meetings a week, plus family sessions etc. He has been clean for more than two months.
I realize that it is ultimately his responsibility, but........ (???)
No buts. He is responsible for himself, his choices and outcomes.
This has been a big part of his problem that people around him, people he trusts have mislead him ...........
He's 19, been charged with crimes, been to rehab and is likely going through the motions of going to many meetings a week. He clearly knows the score and how to score.
He blames you. You blame other people. Can you put this monkey where it belongs?
It does not sound like he is ready to embrace sobriety, yet. That's his choice.
It's your choice if you want a front row, center seat to the show, or not.