Shell- God I am so so sorry... I read your post and felt that drop in the pit of my stomach when the "discovery" is made feeling. And when it comes after a period of time of feeling positive and believing what you're seeing is real, it makes it that much worse. I know too well the feeling of being a sucker and I assure you as you have probably assured me, you are not a sucker. Addicts are better liars than anyone-- if your W wants you in the dark she will do it. And I know the confusion of what do I do in your emotions even when you know in your head what you should do. My kids are just a bit older than your son and my 5 yr old has been severely impacted by my having stayed longer than I should have. My AH is high functioning and hasn't "done" anything to the girls per se, but both my D's have a lot of sad behaviors/emotional expressions that are most definitely the result of what they have lived with. Even if you aren't ready to divorce, time apart sounds wise for your son's sake. Seems to me that your W would be the one to need to leave and you stay in the home with your son so that he has as much stability as possible.