Here's what I got out of your post...
I see alot of focus on him, and what you think he should be doing in the relationship, and in his recovery. You aren't satisfied with how he's handling sobriety, he's still not the person you want him to be. I see quite often on here, people wishing and hoping that their SO would just stop drinking or using, and once they do things aren't perfect and they don't understand why.
You will never understand the disease from his perspective. You are not an addict. As far as "getting him to open up", if he wasn't into deep conversations about feelings and stuff before, why would he suddenly be into them now?
I highly recommend Alanon. His recovery and how he's handling it is his business. Obviously, if he's putting your health in danger by having communicable diseases, then that IS your business. But otherwise, your energy would be better used on yourself, and how you can recover from the affects of living with another's alcoholism, instead of trying to figure out what's going on with him.
My two cents.