Welcome, Sharkbait. I'm no expert, but many on this forum are and will have wisdom and experience to share.
My experience is simply that I had to decide what I wanted the rest of my life to look like, and what I was willing for my children to see. My AH's unwillingness to see he has a problem, combined with infidelity and overspending on "entertainment" made my decision clear, if not easy. And what to do with MY life is all I can control.
He has been my XAH for 10 months, and my children and I have never been more relaxed. It was a difficult road getting here, but worth it.
I wish you luck and strength, whatever your road turns out to be. Living with an A is damaging to the whole family. As you wait for others to join in, take a look at the links at the top of the forum. They opened my eyes and educated me.
So sorry you are in this situation. You have come to the right place to think through your options and benefit from many many years of experience. Best to you and your family.