WOW this has to be hard! Addiction is so ugly. I'm glad you went to look so now you know the truth. Funny because us codies are told don't go look, because it is part of our addiction. I guess you blew that logic right out the window based on what you found. I am back to it is okay to look to make sure it is what you think it is and to be informed. Time to go back to your plan of divorce, moving on and getting into a healthy living situation. You are strong and you can do this.