If you are afraid about your safety what I would do is have a neighbor or a friend or someone with me when I tell him. Safety comes first. I do not know details but when I left the alcoholic I just took my things and took a cab and arrived to a friend's house the moment she said I could stay at her place.
It was very hard and we were not even married - I applaud your courage.
Try making a list and then breaking each activity to smaller and smaller bits... "cleaning apartment" is HUGE for me, its a huge MESS but from there I can go
"pick up clothes"
"iron trousers"
"clean bathroom's window"
"brush cats"
And keep on breaking them down..
"brush cats" can go
"brush Dolce"
"look for thin brush in the green box"
"brush Gabanna"
"look for green brush"
"hand them salmon prizes"
And well on and on until its something specific and small. Very slowly but I am starting to see a difference in my apartment so, divide and conquer!!