I was struggling with this,too. And then, last night, I had trouble sleeping. When I did sleep, I had this horrible nightmare that merged some memories into a Future World, and none of it was pretty.
I'd like to think my HP was showing me what my life will be if we stayed the course we were on. That nightmare convinces me we have done the right thing by separating. The nightmare was extremely vivid and detailed, and it was indeed very scary to me.