Thanks for your thoughts. Yes JT, you have shared the same advice to me before, and it was just what I needed to hear again. It is taking me awhile to really understand what you are saying. I do agree, but seem to have trouble maintaining that perspective. I slip so readily into my old habits. I knew when I wrote this that I was moving away from focusing on myself and that doing that wasn't healthy for the relationship but I really didnt understand why. Still working on this. It came to me last night that the main reason that I am still in the marriage is that I am addicted to my husband. So anything I can do to remove my attention from him is moving in the right direction and anything I do that re-focuses my attention on him is moving in the wrong direction. I liked what you said about treating him as I would like to be treated, I need to learn how to be kind to him again. Thanks again for listening.