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Old 05-23-2011, 10:39 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
BeProactive
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: bay area, ca
Posts: 87
Thanks for all the info, naive. I am a contractor, so don't have access to those kind of facilities at work. I joined a new job 6 months ago, after being with my previous employer for 7 years and I work for the client as a contractor. The kids school is 2 weeks more, so need to stick closer to home. Looked up some extended stay kind of hotels nearby (with kitchen, etc) but they are quite expensive ($500) for a week. Can afford it for now (especially for my peace and sanity and if things get bad) but woud rather save that money. Santa cruz / Monterey would be too far work/school unless I take off (but off means I don't get paid)

My sister really wants me to go and stay with her. But I feel like I just want this whole marriage done with and not worry about any potential legal issues if I move out of state and don't want to delay the divorce process for more than a year (residency requirements). I guess I am finally really ready for the divorce (after being in limbo for so long) and I can't wait for it to be done.

I met with the lawyer today - till the last minute very confused whether I want to go ahead with the filing or just up and leave out of state to my sister's. I asked the lawyer about the "order to show cause ex parte" (thanks Jay) and this is what she is filing, as I suspected. But she had not prepared it to be emergency (regular filing could take upto a month) and she said she could make it emergency after I told her how hard I and the kids are finding it living with him. If this does not work, next option is to move to another unit. I went to the sheriff's office and the lady there said If I say we are seperated and I filed for divorce and show the lease in my name - I should be good. Feel better now that I have option A and option B - hope either of those works out. Sis is coming first week of June, school should be done and I should be able to move then if it comes to that.

AH is still being bloody minded. I told him that I have the papers ready and my lawyer will be filing them, does he want to go to Rehab and get help and I might reconsider (not get back together but rethink filing now). He refused saying he doesn't believe in Rehab, he is strong and doesn't need help to quit!!! Yeah right - whatever. From then on, things went downhill and it was a crappy evening. I am finding it extremely difficult to detach - I just want him out and am feeling frustrated that I am having to put up with him. I think I need to get back to theraphy (have not been going due to lack of time) and Alanon (I know I should).
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