WTBH... I'm sorry I didn't mean to down play your situation. I guess I am just too focused on mine. I know you are going through a lot, really too much. I really hope you are able to find a new job and that things will work out good for you. You are a very strong women and you have made good choices and will continue to do so.
I want to be in a good place for myself and my kids. If my AH can not find recovery and become what I need him to be I feel I have no choice but to get my affairs in order. I have to get life stable for all of us. I am not ready to pull the plug yet, but I know I need to start thinking about what I need to do if I do in fact life takes me in that direction. Thankfully I have a few contacts in my career I left 11 years ago. Very recently one of them has been encouraging me to return to work. I think God placed her back in my life when I really need her. She has no clue what is going on here at home but her comments are coming a good point in my life. She could be in a good position to help me get a job. I hold a college degree and I did work in my career field for 10 years before I became a stay at home mom. The thought about going back is pretty dang scary, but I also feel that if I do go back it will be okay. Just big changes for all.
AH has been reading SR and my comments. Let's just hope he is reading all of yours too. I think he could really learn a lot about how it is on the other side of this disease.