Originally Posted by BobbyJ

If you read my last post: Where's the man I married?

You will be able to understand, where Im at today....

Got a pretty big lump in my thoart today, when the lawyer


####### I know that lump well

called me and told me he faxed the signed papers over to her.
She would give them to the court and it will all be final by middle
of next week...

I got really big lump in my thoart as I was on the phone to the lawyer
Pulled over along side the road to puke
Finally letting go
Hoping this is what brings him to his knees & he finds recovery

####### Know that feeling and hope also. The many things I've tried and prayed for to lead to recovery




I sat here today and wondered, how come I cant be like some of you.


####### you are like some of us and you are like all of us, just different stages.

Some of you stayed married to your AH or AW

##### yes and no and went to the gates of hell and back


Some of you sound very content

##### different stage, many of us still miss the person, have dreams sometimes.

Some of you sound so strong

##### strength comes from experience, suffering, and wisdom


Some of you can live apart for years & stay married


####### big deal



Why not me?


####### don't fear, you will catch up, then you will be giving soothing advice to others down the road wearing the shoes you once wore

I didnt want to divorce him ... I really didnt


####### we all know that feeling


But I dont know this person anymore, so I had to let go....


####### and that feeling also, especially so !!!!

Damn, I really let go........
It is here, right smack in my face..Papers are signed!


######### the ship is sinking and your husband refuses to leave the ship, but you choose life over death, and alcoholism is insanity and death.

But a really weird feeling came across to me
I will probably end up burying him, before he ever sees a sober day

####### nobody knows, be happy you didn't choose to bury yourself.




Alcoholism, what a freaking horrible diesase!!!!