Hi Putmeontheair,
This has more to do about him than you. You know that the whole episode was completely unecessary. IMO - I suspect he is having trouble with low self esteem issues and craving love and attention. One small thing such as moving a hand has blown up to 'you dont love me and you are pushing me away' in his mind. He will have his own internal dialogue happening and this is likely to be very warped.
My alcoholic is very immature when it comes to arguing, so there is just no point in attempting to discuss anything. It took me a long time to figure this out. Unfortunately, there is always something that I need to discuss with him and so I build up to it, carefully planning my words on what I am going to say and how I am going to say it and get myself all stressed in the process. If I am planning for the worse, he is good, if I plan for Ok, I get unreasonable. For me it is part of the dance that I have been involved with for far too long.
Giving up the drink is only one facet, but they really have to 'get it' and understand that they do not function normaly when interacting with others and take action to resolve this, which basically boils down to lots and lots of therapy. If your AH had a therapist, he could talk through his emotions, work out his issues about what happened and hear it from a third party that he has nothing to worry about.
Dont waste anymore time trying to figure it out, Im frustrated typing this, so I can understand why you feel frustrated. Move on and tell him to get over it!