Oh you described my world. May not be the hand thing but it so many things just like it. Never know when I will do or say something that AH takes the wrong way. God forbid I actually have a bad day and do something that isn't very nice, the whole world comes crashing down. I have said many times I am not allow to make a mistake or have a bad day.
I too have trouble understanding what is the real them and what drinking does to the real them. What is a plain relationship problem vs. problems due to alcoholism? We tried MC for that with an addiction specialist and bottom line the addict needs to find recovery before you can work on the relationship issues.
Blahhh just getting tired of it all. I want a NORMAL life! I love my AH and I would do anything to make our relationship work but there is only so much one person can take before they need to move on for their own sanity.