Hugs to you, BobbyJ. The finality of the divorce hit me hard, too. I took my vows seriously and know that he is not well.....everyone knows it but XAH. When infidelity entered the picture, I had to say to him (and to myself and 4 kids) how much is too much.
Almost 10 months later, it is easier. It had to happen for me to be safe, physically and financially.
Focus on YOU--something I am still learning how to do. But the pain has begun to fade a little...although my sense that he has thrown away and wasted so much still angers me. I'm working on that. But it's lovely to come home and not worry about his mood or condition. HP has a great plan for you, BobbyJ, and that plan is in motion even now. Hugs to you, be gentle with yourself. A "poor me nap" and a cleansing cry can do wonders!