Sorry for being defensive, I'm just seeing a lot of unsolicited advice-giving on the boards lately.
I broke the news this morning and it's a go as of Monday when the bank opens. I announced this during our first joint session with his addiction counselor, who reaffirmed to "R"AH that me setting boundaries is a part of his recovery and that this was a perfectly reasonable boundary. She also drew up a structure for him finding a sponsor and implementing a real job search with the hopes that he'll have one soon (the job market is okay in our area, so he should be okay as long as he isn't too picky). He was receptive and said that while it sucks, he's responsible for this and will figure it out. He is also putting together a way of making some scratch money while he job searches (I ebay, he etsys).
I feel good today. It's imperfect, but it makes me feel better. I'll update on how it plays out.