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Old 05-21-2011, 07:44 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
GettingBy's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Now, if you meant what you said to try to manipulate him into getting sober...

Well that's a whole 'nother ball of wax. And then I can understand why you still want to 'talk' about things. You want to keep talking to try and convince him why your way is the right way. I know... Because I've spent YEARS doing the same with my AH. I spent years thinking that if I said it the right way, or if I could have just one more 'talk'... I could get him to see 'it'... And he could get sober, and we would all live happily ever after.

It wasn't until I accepted him as a human free to do as HE chooses... That I realized how all those 'talks' were me trying to exert my control and will on him.

It all goes back to the three Cs... I can't control my husband, I didn't cause his drinking, and I sure as heck can't cure it.

I get it Skipper, I have so much compassion and understanding for where you are. It's hard, and it sucks...I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.
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