Originally Posted by
letuslove 
Wywriter, should I tell my mom I don't want contact with her until she is sober? She insists she is right now, but I can never believe her.
As Cyranoak has mentioned, everyone is different, so every "should" will be different too
. I cut off contact with my mom because I knew it was the only way I could get past it and work on my own life, and it was still over two years after she started recovery before I starting talking to her regularly again. Even when sober, she can be a very negative person and nitpick at anything just trying to find a button to push -- when drunk, that was about 100 times worse and she often turned violent. I could not grow and pursue my own life and my own relationships with that hanging over my head. In fact, the first contact I had with her after leaving, very shortly after she'd started recovery, was the most disappointing and upsetting of the bunch -- it was when I told her I was pregnant with her first grandchild, and she had only mean things to say. It's amazing how much she's changed since then, and she hadn't actually ingested any alcohol for a couple weeks or so at that time.