Thanks so much to each of you for all your input. I am sitting here trying not to completely lose it. I spent many hours today looking at our finances (didn't even go as far back as I had planned). I feel SO stupid right now for being so naive, trusting that the numbers he gave me for planning were correct (skip the alcohol even). All along he has made it sound as if we could stay on budget, save money in our 401k and put a little away for college. The reality after I went through it all is we are off budget every month by $800, no money for college but the 401k is okay. My stomach is in knots. I feel like I am failing my kids and when I went to talk with AH to say we needed to sit down and talk about it all he said back was "oh I can't wait". He has been the one to pay our bills so he knows that we are bleeding money and have been for a while. SO why in the world would he go plan two deep sea fishing trips and ask where we should go on a family vacation?! I guess he is a lot sicker than I really thought. I didn't think he was that out of touch with reality. Right now I can't even think straight to try and figure it all out. Thank God I have some anti-anxiety meds hidden upstairs. I think I am going to need it to sleep tonight.