Get a hidden camera.
He sounds like a loose cannon who can't be trusted; would you let a babysitter do this? Certainly not. His behavior is leading you to uncomfortable consequences. The only difference is that now, you're really in charge of what those consequences are.
He swears? You hang up.
He blames? You leave the room.
He drinks around the kids and lies about it? You get it on film and take it to a lawyer.
I don't mean to be flip, I know this is brutally hard. The steps are simple to execute, but very difficult when you lost your moxie years ago. It'll come back.
- Sylvie