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Old 05-20-2011, 08:23 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
DMC
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 302
I hate to chime in with a "me too," but this is one of those areas that really burned me. I was always the more financially responsible, and even before the drinking reared its ugly head, I managed the bills. It just got harder and harder the more he drank.

I took away his credit cards, I took away his ATM card. I yelled at him for stupid fees. It was all "gas money." I put him on an allowance.

It never worked. He was spending 600-800 a month with money we didn't have. I am very disciplined with spending, and forced it on him, but it was a neverending battle. I got to the point where I had complete and utter control, but it still only somewhat controlled his spending.

I checked our online account on a daily basis (and still do now, out of habit.) I checked credit reports. I shredded new cards and hid the old ones. He was never proactive enough to open new accounts, thankfully, but did buy a lot of crap online. Mostly, he was talk and not action, which was a blessing.

Now, gosh, I actually have money. It's a huge relief. I pay him alimony, but just have it deducted and a check sent every month without having to think about it. It's worth every penny in exchange for the mental anguish and the shame of having to ask my parents for money to pay the bills, knowing it was getting pi$$ed away.

Gosh, I guess that is a bit of a trigger...
Separate the finances. Get your name off his accounts. Direct deposit your own money. You will always be broke sharing finances with an alcoholic.

Good luck,
D
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