If you can do this you might consider just no contact for a few days...until you get yourself back to feeling better. If you have to discuss the kids, just do that, nothing more.
He chose alcohol over his family, why should he get the privilege of conversation with someone he beats down?...and yes, it is a privilege that he is allowed to speak with you...he just doesn't know it yet.
sometimes a line in the sand is not enough...you have to build a brick wall to protect yourself.