I have been checking up on our joint accounts today funnily enough (part of my planning to leave). I try not to, because I have been trying to detach for the past 18 months.
It has definitely been one of my triggers for not being able to detach. There is nothing worse than seeing a 'selfish' purchase coming out of the account.
Its another reason, to add to the long list of why I am leaving.
My AH, because we are separated (but cohabiting until I can find a nice place to move to) has upped his alcohol and cigarette consumption. I have calculated about $250 a week on what I term 'selfish' purchases(beer and cigs) coming out of the joint account.
I suffer from anxiety with regards to money, I am a big worrier and like paying bills regularly and saving. I haven't always been this way and I think this is due to the number of times my AH managed to 'wipe out' our finances several times in the past by making really poor decisions (spent money like it grew on trees) which didn't include me.
The only way to solve this is to separate our accounts. That way he can spend what he likes and what I dont know, wont hurt me. He has never liked hearing me saying about separating our funds and gets very jumpy if I have ever mentioned it. Maybe he knows how bad he is with money and is worried he wont be able to afford his beer.
Luckily I am in the position of having grown daughters and both my AH and I work full time and earn around the same. My personal finances will be stretched a bit more when I move out, due to paying the rent and bills on my own but it will nice to feel in control of money again - my money.