Following the money
Well I am finally biting the bullet. After I saw how much money wasn't in our savings account I am finally taking off the blinders and digging in. I know he drinks and smokes I just have no clue how much. I have to get to the bottom of it all. Not to get him to quit, just to have full disclosure of where the money is going. I know I have every right to know. I emailed him today and told him I wanted all the online access usernames and passwords. I told him since he didn't like discussing it that I would just handle piecing together where the money went alone. I requested all on line passwords and usernames. I have also decided that I should be handling the banking from this point forward. Oh you should have seen him when he got home. Quacking with all his might. He had printed up last months credit card statement but instead of the norm of what was charged when it was grouped together by place. So gas stations show a lump total, not a whole bunch of $20ish charges every few days. Got to give him credit for trying to out wit me. When that didn't please me he went on trying to bully me into not doing it (which is the norm) and when that didn't work he said he didn't know what the passwords/usernames were. He uses them all the time! I finally get him to write them down and he leaves off our main checking account. I point it out, he writes it down, but low and behold what he gave me was wrong. (the other ones were right). Just on the credit card alone I can tell he is spending about $500 a month on his habits. I have a feeling he is also pulling out cash too which will be reflected on the checking account. Since he really doesn't want me to see that I have a feeling I am in for a real shock. When I am done we will sit down to complete a budget with his habits included. Not looking forward to that one bit, but it has to be done.
Even though I know he is drinking seeing the charges over and over really makes it sink in, how really sick he is. The emotions I am feeling right now are somewhere between feeling sorry/worried for him and just being done with it....I have a tinge of anger too since we have 3 kids we are trying to save college money for.
Ugh... all of this crap is getting old. I was wanting to wait a year, become a healthier me before I made any huge decisions....but man I'm not sure I can handle that. My poor kids, they deserve a healthy dad and a stable life and all I can see is turmoil heading this way.