im so sorry -- gosh, those conversations... ugh. just STAY strong. keep remembering the all of us on here have had the same conversation--so don't take any of it as any semblance of truth.
because we are in a relationship, we trusted that person and let all of our vulnerabilities show. unfortunately, to an alcoholic... this means that we showed them the bullseye of where to hit us.
the hits below the belt have no bearing on truth, they're just verbal punches - a way to hurt when they've been backed into the wall and just feel so much pain themself. remember, they're in "survival" mode during those moments when LIFE (not just us) holds up a mirror to show them the reality of their destruction. because of this, they have to "survive" and the only way for that to happen is to keep on grasping at the world THEY want to believe in--which is based in delusion. so OF COURSE they have to hit us below the belt... there will never be a world in their eyes where something is THEIR responsibility. he'll blame everything on u--especially the demise of your relationship.
again, im sorry. those conversations are the things the play a loop... just arm yourself with supportive people... and hold strong to YOUR sense of self. you did nothing wrong. you gave your all to a relationship you cared about deeply.
:day6